Creative stagnation

Shadows on the moon

Sometimes, I struggle with my creativity.
I suppose it's called writer's block or artist's block, or some such thing.  The trouble is, it extends beyond a single period of time in my life, and lends a general color to my work and my attitude.  I've had this feeling of being creatively stifled for years and years and years.  It's as if there is a painting inside my head that exists just beneath the surface of my dreams.  I can't quite see it...
There have been moments in my life where I feel the creativity welling up, nearly about to break the surface.  But, those moments pass before I can actually see that masterpiece.
There are ideas and inspirations that possess me at times, but, they rarely come from an internal wellspring of creativity.  My moments of creative spark don't actually feel creative at all... they make me feel as though I'm standing on the shoulders of my influences.
I know that there is a shining point of light in my imagination somewhere.  But, there is a greater world in the way -- the real world, with all of its stresses, priorities and responsibilities.  The real world that I live in saturates my imagination, and my inability to step outside of it grows with each passing year.  The real world casts shadows on my imagination, as the earth sometimes casts shadows on the moon.
I'm reminded of the movie "Amadeus."  In that movie, an ancient, withered Salieri tells the tale of his life to a priest.  He grieves and rages over his own desperate mediocrity in the face of the casual brilliance of Mozart.  I feel as though I were Salieri, at times.  I think all artists must feel that way, periodically.  Although, I fear that an artist truly possessed of creative genius will take his own talent for granted, and never know what it feels like to strive for something greater than what he can ever attain.  The fact that I do know that feeling, I'm afraid, is the hallmark of mediocrity.
All of this could just be me being gloomy.
Sometimes I get that way.
I am creative, at times.  I just can't help but feel as though I could do better.  I could do better, if only...
If only there weren't shadows on the moon.